If General George Patton were alive and President

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john
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If General George Patton were alive and President

#1 Post by john »

If General George Patton were alive and President of
the USA, this would be his Fireside Speech:

My fellow Americans:

As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been
completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money
on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal
of all American forces from Iraq. This action will
be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin
the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the
names of countries which have stood by our side
during the Iraq conflict. This list is short:
The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia,
Norway and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list.
Most of the world's nations are on that list.

My press secretary will be distributing copies of
both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately,
foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases
immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay
for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour
money into third world *beep*-holes and watch
those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic?
Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work
to cut taxes and solve some local problems.

On that note, a word to terrorist organizations.
*beep* with us and we will hunt you down and
eliminate you and all your friends from the face of
the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize?
Try France, or maybe China.

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. You, boys
Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp
David is closed.

Maybe all of you can go to Russia for negotiations.
They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too.

I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic
relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks
for all your help, comrades. We are retiring
from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to
begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles
located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid tickets
to sites where those vehicles will be stripped,
shredded and crushed.

I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this.
Pay your tickets tomorrow or watch your precious
Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some
of the finest chop shops in the world. I love
New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on
List 2. Since we are going to be seeing a lot more
of each other, you folks might want to try not
pxxxxxg us off for a change. Mexico is also on
List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt
government really need an attitude adjustment.
I have a couple of extra tank and infantry
divisions sitting around. Guess where I'm gonna
put 'em? Yep, border security. So start
doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating
the NAFTA treaty--starting now.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare
and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of
isolationism. I answer them by saying darn tootin'.

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a
decent life around the world has only earned us
the undying enmity of just about everyone on the
planet. It is time to cut taxes here because we
will not be spending on other peoples problems.

To the nations on List 1, a final thought.
Thanks guys. We owe you.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought.
Drop dead. God bless America.

Thank you and good night.

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JDL
Posts: 67
Joined: Sun Jan 04, 2004 12:09 am
Location: Ft. Wainwright, AK

#2 Post by JDL »

Ohh if Patton were still around. I'd vote for him!
04 Switchback 600
05 Trail RMK
03 ProX 600

90% of all Arctic Cats are still out on the mountains/trails today.

The other 10% actaully made it back home!

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