getting ready for snowmobile season-another oldie but goodie

Somethings you should always remembers before you go for ride.
Did I forget anything ? Let us all know

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getting ready for snowmobile season-another oldie but goodie

#1 Post by john » Sun Jan 18, 2009 6:44 am

Tips for Snowmobilers

The snowmobile season is almost here. To help avoid injury and prepare for the unexpected, here are a few useful hints, think snow!

1. Go to your local snowmobile repair shop, smile and give the first guy you see $400. This will get you used to spending money on a regular basis.

2. Remove the muffler from your lawnmower, place the mower in a large metal garbage can and start it up. Put your head in the can and have someone close the lid. Especially important for Arctic Cat owners.

3. Fill a 50-gallon barrel with sand. Lower it into a hole. Now lift it out. If you can, add water to the sand and try it again. Do this 5 times per day. This will get your back in shape for those deep snow stucks.

4. Tie a rope to a heavy-duty spring. Pull the rope repeatedly with each arm until the pain in your shoulders meets somewhere in the middle of your back. This will get you in shape for starting your bud's sled, that they conveniently forgot was out of gas and didn't tell you. It's best to do this exercise while someone is spraying starting fluid into your nose and eyes also.

5. Drink four ounces of cod-liver oil mixed with a strong laxative. Dress with long underwear, wool pants, snowmobile bibs, Tek-Vest, insulated boots and heavy coat. Walk far into the woods without any paper products and wait for a personal emergency.

6. Place your hands in a bucket of ice water for 20 minutes. Put the carburetor from your lawn mower in the bottom of your deep freeze. Now climb in the deep freeze, shut the lid and overhaul it while holding a pen light in your mouth. This is particularly important for Skidoo owners.

NOTE: advanced riders do this with only a leatherman tool.

7. Dress up in your new $500 snowmobile bibs. Pour 2-stroke oil down the right leg, gasoline down the other and pepsi or coke all over the front. Fill you boots with ice cubes and ask your wife or girlfriend for a dance. This will prepare her for the stops at the local hangout after a ride.

8. Put on a Balaclava and a full-face helmet. Attempt to drink hot chocolate through the opening. Advanced riders attempt this while riding a lawn tractor in the front yard.

9. Find a place where you can pay $7.00 a gallon for regular gas; $10.99 per quart for oil; $16.00 for a hamburger and frozen French fries; $5.00 for a coke and $60.00 to sleep in a cold cabin on a bed with springs sticking through the mattress. Stay for two nights, minimum. This will prepare you for the high cost of your future winter trips.

10. Practice explaining to your banker why you need another loan for a $50,000 truck to pull the four $12,000 toys in your $10,000 trailer that you still owe $60,000 on.

11. Take a hot plate and cast iron skillet to your garage. Close and seal all doors. When fry pan is heated to red hot, add 8 ounces of mineral-based, 2-stroke oil and one ounce of Brut after-shave, run on the spot for 10 minutes, open doors and light up a cigarette.

12. Using an old kitchen chair, remove the legs and position it at the top of a long flight of concrete stairs. Sit firmly on the chair with your knees drawn to your chest. Have a friend wrap silver duct tape around your knees and back to attach you firmly to the chair and push off. This is good exercise for Sunday afternoon trail rides. Polaris riders should do two sets.



Darrell
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Location: Nordale Road area

Re: getting ready for snowmobile season-another oldie but goodie

#2 Post by Darrell » Sun Jan 18, 2009 10:32 am

Makes me want to get out there and ride :lol:


If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

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